September is Coming

I am taking a break from the four-year-long Game of Thrones episode in which we now live to think about a much cheerier topic: the First Day of School! A few days ago, I promised to share my plan, and you can all finally get some sleep tonight because here it is. I should mention that in my school, classes on the FDOS are a bit shorter than usual, so this lesson plan is designed to take about 30 minutes.

When students enter the room, they will find their name cards at their assigned seats. After introducing myself and taking attendance while the kids awkwardly stare at me and try to guess my age, I will hand out the long-awaited syllabus. But this year, my syllabus will be different. Every year, I give my students a two-page handout containing the rules regarding tardiness, homework, late assignments, and hand-to-hand combat. (Just kidding. There are no rules about hand-to-hand combat. In middle school, it’s every man for himself.) This year, I want to frame this in a more positive way. Students can read about the school policies in the student handbook, which they all keep on their nightstands next to their iPhones; they don’t need them to be repeated in each class. Instead, I will be giving my students a list of “How to Be Successful in English 8.” It’s the same information but focuses on their implied success rather than their potential failure.

After we go through that and I answer a bazillion questions about what students can and can not drink during class (VitaminWater is allowed, vodka is not), we get to the fun part. Students will fill out this anticipation guide, which I will collect and keep in a folder. At the end of the school year, they will fill them out again and compare their answers. I like this idea because it serves several purposes. Students get a preview of what they will be reading about and discussing throughout the year as well as a taste of my teaching style. At the end of the year, they will be able to reflect on how they have grown and the role the literature they read played in that growth. Also, I will be able to get a brief snapshot of each student by looking over their answers: with these questions, I can immediately identify the cynics, the optimists, and of course, the potential psychopaths.

This in itself might take up the rest of the period, but if not, I will then have the students break up into groups and discuss their answers. This will allow them to get to know each other, especially the few who are new to the school. Nothing facilitates a new friendship like a good ol’ debate on moral relativism.

And speaking of moral relativism, now that I have the FDOS figured out, I can go back to scrolling through the evisceration of Cersei Lannister Donald Trump in my newsfeed.